The Real White House Housewives

Donald Trump views The View as if it were a spouse over the age of 60: with disdain.

‘Explain how the women on The View, which is a total disaster since the great Barbara Walters left, ever got their jobs. @abc is wasting time’, tweeted the President during the 2016 campaign.

So boomers everywhere gushed with excitement as The Right View — the Trump campaign’s alternative to the ABC talk show — launched on Monday.

Cockburn decided to tune in and give Donald Trump’s entrance into the ladies’ talk show market a chance. The Right View is essentially the offspring of a Trump merch infomercial and a Trump campaign ad. The show’s hosts, Lara Trump, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Katrina Pierson, and Mercedes Schlapp, offered their thoughts on current events from a relentlessly MAGA worldview.

First, the ladies covered recent media coverage of President Trump’s use of hydroxychloroquine as a preventative measure against coronavirus. For roughly 10 minutes, they discussed the extensive history of the drug. Lara Trump — the wife of Donald Trump’s son, Eric — mentioned that she had taken hydroxychloroquine during a family vacation to Ecuador.

Kim Guilfoyle — girlfriend of Donald Trump’s slightly more capable son, Don Jr. — lauded Trump’s leadership in using hydroxychloroquine.

‘I think it speaks volumes about the president, his character, his willing to, like, lead and be the one to go first and then he says, “America first, come in right after me,”’ explained Guilfoyle.

Cockburn watched in stunned silence as the ladies rejoiced that Trump had taken it upon himself to not only prevent his own contraction of the coronavirus, but to apparently act as a human guinea pig on behalf of the American people.

Next, the talk show took on presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden’s new nickname for Trump: ‘President Tweety’. Predictably making fun of the lackluster nickname, the ladies then turned to the broader meaning of the moniker.

‘I mean, let’s be real: President Trump has fundamentally changed how we communicate,’ said Mercedes Schlapp, a consultant for Trump’s reelection campaign. ‘He drives the news cycle through tweets…God only knows that this President has revolutionized social media.’

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After an extended break featuring patriotic music, clips from past campaign events, and spliced patriotic quotes from the President, The Right View covered a handful of other stories, such as Obamagate and Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer’s aggressive lockdowns.

Each segment followed roughly the same format: report the news, call out the media bias surrounding it, spend several minutes prostrate before the altar of God Emperor Trump in devout worship. Though many of the Trumpworld women have a Real Housewives look, if you were hoping for a similar level conflict, you’ll be disappointed. They should have called the show The Same View — at least the real View makes half an effort at fostering viewpoint diversity!