My advice for Kamala, America’s first trans president

Trump has been vanquished, and the first ever male-to-female trans president is about to take zer rightful place in the history books: Kamala Harris. Already one stunning and brave transition has been fully realized: zer transing from Kamal to Kamala (apologies in advance for the dead-naming, Kamala!). As our brave new Kamala wisely and compassionately approaches the white heteronormative obstacle to her next transition — Joe Biden — I would like to reach out and offer some advice. Warmly.

Until the recent revolution in gender-think, the western world had insisted on things being a certain way. People of lesser intelligence than I (of which there are far too many) have been convinced by the outdated attitudes surrounding biology that there exist only two genders, and that when a child is born their gender is ‘observed’ by the genitals they own. Wrong. So very wrong.

What really happens, of course, is that these poor babes are often incorrectly allocated a gender by ignorant and bigoted medical practitioners. Gender cannot be assumed by genitals. What does a non-binary penis look like? Who can say? Male and female genitals come in all shapes and sizes. So who are you to tell us that a penis cannot be a vagina?

With that in mind, I would firstly like to advise Joe to mind his language. In one of his town hall responses regarding transgender rights, he said this: ‘The idea that an eight-year-old child, or a 10-year-old child, decides, you know, “I decided I want to be transgender. That’s what I think I’d like to be, it would make my life a lot easier.”’

Joe, your clumsy speech made it obvious to me and millions of other genderqueers that you are dangerously misinformed, probably by the cis lobby, when it comes to trans issues. I get it, you are old and white, and as such have no idea how to treat other people with respect, but that’s no excuse for the next soon-to-be ex-president of the United States.

You see Joe, people do not ‘decide’ to become transgender. Children don’t randomly think to themselves, ‘Hey, it would be really fashionable for me to change my gender right now!’ No. That is the job of their parents. We need to make it easier for parents to transition their children. The sooner the better. Preferably while the child is still in the womb.

Surely surgery has advanced enough for gender realignment to take place in utero the moment a gender-dysphoric fetus is detected? So much unnecessary emotional trauma and confusion would be avoided if parents were able to bypass the hormone blocker phase of their child’s life. Imagine a newborn, little Lavinia, proudly emerging from her birthing parent’s vagina, feeling super stunning and brave with her breast implants and vaginoplasty already constructed and healed. How amazing would that be?

Even if this were not yet possible, I feel more could be done to assist in transing children earlier. Let’s put hormone treatment in formula. Let’s stamp birth certificates with ‘To be announced’ in the column where a record of the child’s gender is required. Let’s criminalize the use of gender-descriptive speech in children’s TV shows. A well-loved Disney character such as Ella from Frozen could reveal theirself in a sequel to be a pangender asexual Marxist (which those of us in the know have suspected for some time now). Small but significant changes now will propel us forward leaps and bounds over the next decade and help unify the nation under the rainbow flag of trans rights.

My hope is that once Kamala emerges from Joe Biden’s gender shadow, like Caitlyn Jenner casting off her obsolete incarnation of phallocratic ‘Bruce’, we will get more of an idea how far she’s willing to go in order to progress the new-world gender revolution. Kamala will not only be the first Transpresident. She will also be the first Black-South Asian Indian-Jamaican-African-American Transpresident. Kamala ticks so many minority boxes that she makes Obama look like a redneck. The only advice I would give Kamala right now is to remain authentic, do not allow anyone to deny your multi-layered existence, and stay true to whatever marginalized/minority/historically oppressed identity is fashionably progressive at any given point in your future career.

I have every faith that America’s next generation is in safer and much more tolerant hands, but we cannot afford to become complacent simply because the Dark Lord has been defeated. Let’s hope Kamala Biden will do the same for America as Justine Trudeau is doing for Canada. Only without the blackface, obvs.

This article was originally published in The Spectator’s January 2021 US edition.