Tate brothers threaten to tilt Florida governor race

Who could have predicted that a pair of (accused) sex-trafficking British-born brothers could cause such a stir in the Sunshine State? The brief return of manosphere influencers Tristan and Andrew Tate to Florida has become a flashpoint in state politics. Governor Ron DeSantis has directed his attorney general, close ally James Uthmeier, to investigate the brothers. DeSantis is thought to favor his wife Casey as a potential successor when he leaves office in 2026, as opposed to Congressman Byron Donalds, who served as a Trump campaign surrogate.

“Ron DeSantis is attacking me because he was worried I would support Byron Donalds over his wife, knowing I have monumental political weight, and trust our commander and chief President Trumps reccomendations completely,” wrote Andrew Tate, in a tweet as precisely spelled and cogent as you might expect a former cage-fighter to produce. “Interestingly, I had no interest in Floridian politics until I learnt how communist the DeSantis admin is.”

Donalds, a renowned woman respecter, backed a probe into the Tates in an interview with CBS: “I think those allegations have to be fully investigated, and then we go from — we go from there. The key thing is, we don’t tolerate the trafficking of women, or frankly, the abuse of women. We do not tolerate that.”  

Cockburn is tickled pink to see the congressman drawing from his poet namesake in his fervent defense of the fairer sex. She walks in beauty, like the night / Of cloudless climes and starry skies…

Hunter’s latest slump

The price of eggs is going up, but the price of Hunter Biden’s paintings is plummeting. Why could that be?

The former First Son almost gave the game away in a legal filing in which he asked a judge to dismiss a case he filed against a former Trump aide in a suit over the younger Biden’s “laptop from Hell.”

“In the two to three years prior to December 2023, I sold twenty-seven pieces for art at an average price of $54,481.48, but since then I have only sold one piece of art for $36,000,” Biden wrote in his filing.

Hunter, no modern-day Picasso, raked in well over $1 million from at-times anonymous art buyers (how convenient!) while his dad was president.

Maybe he can spend some of that on art classes — perhaps former president George W. Bush can offer him some tips for the right price, or he can try selling feet pics — we’ve tragically seen that he has the content available for that.

On our radar

UNSCHOOLING The Department of Education could be facing the final chapter of its storied life, as President Trump is expected to sign an executive order to close the book on the agency.

ROUTHLESS Ryan Routh, the man who poked a rifle barrel through some shrubs in an apparent assassination attempt of Donald Trump in West Palm Beach, will appear in federal court this morning for a status hearing.

JOBS, JOBS, JOBS President Trump is set to deliver remarks this morning in response to a new jobs report that shows the unemployment rate rose to 4.1 percent.

Choose your fighter, cringe edition

TikTok’s future is up in the air, but that didn’t stop Democrats from bringing back an outdated trend in their latest attempt to figure out how to respond to Donald Trump.

Top Democrats, including Congresswomen Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Jasmine Crockett and House Minority Whip Katherine Clarke, posted a video of them as Mortal Kombat-style fighters. AOC’s vital stats include that she is the “youngest woman + Latina to be elected to the House” and that she is a “Trekkie.”

The video was mocked relentlessly by…everyone, but Republicans’ responses weren’t much better. Congresswoman Nicole Malliotakis posted a photo of her with boxing gloves, as if she was ready to throw hands with her fellow New York lawmaker. Maybe she needed Congressman Al Green’s cane…

Cringe TikToks weren’t the only strange content Democrats put out this week. Almost two dozen Senate Democrats released videos of them reading the exact same text, complete with curse words to sound hip, and Congresswoman Rosa DeLauro rolled out her best impersonation of the Creature from Black Lagoon with her garishly green outfit earlier this week. She predictably called her critics sexist.