Do not under any condition let Liz Cheney babysit your kids

I don’t understand why Liz Cheney thinks we would trust Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff with our children when we know there’s a non-zero possibility that the would-be first gentleman will attempt to knock up our nanny, but apparently that’s what they’re going with on the campaign trail these days.

For years, I’ve suggested an essential method to deciding who to support for president would be based on who you trusted to run a McDonald’s for a day or watch your children for an afternoon. Perhaps intimidated by the former president’s success at the former measure, Cheney suggested at her event with Vice President Harris this weekend that the latter measure would disqualify Donald Trump — who she endorsed in 2020 — as an unacceptable giver of childcare. “If you wouldn’t hire someone to babysit your kids, don’t make them president,” she said to Harris’s laughter.

Among the valid complaints about Donald Trump, many of which I share, this one makes no sense to me at all. Obviously and to the man’s credit he has one of the best relationships any president in the modern era has had with their children and grandchildren, unmarked by any type of dysfunction except in the fever pitch of online leftists. 

The Donald Trump babysitting experience only runs into the danger that he will spoil them to the nth degree, ordering them the giant box of McNuggets with all the sauces, teaching them how to hit wiffle balls off the back porch and giving them free reign to watch every Disney+ movie they want to their heart’s content. You’ll come home from the night out with the wife and find them on a sugar and Moana high demanding that Uncle Donny come back again as soon as possible. 

An evening with Liz Cheney, on the other hand, is assured to result in them casting paranoid eyes at mommy and daddy, reversing their audio devices to spy on the other rooms and demanding to know if you’re all paid up on your camera-issued parking tickets. You know they’re important for maintaining roads and bridges, right? Just hope she doesn’t try to teach them how to shoot dart guns, or they’ll put your eye out.

The New York Times’s coverage of Trump’s McDonald’s escapade included throwing an unbelievable amount of shade at him throwing salt over his shoulder, suggesting it was an act of paranoia, waste and failure of efficiency. We’re entering the silly season of 2024 when Democrats and their fellow travelers just start to throw everything at the wall, attempting desperately to achieve some kind of stability as their candidate flails toward a likely loss. A winning campaign at this moment would be focused on the economy, security, stability and defending the rights of women. Instead they’re rolling out Liz Cheney, Usher and Lizzo. Given the choice of those three, I’m definitely going for a different sitter.