Author: Neal Pollack

  • Did the mafia make NBA stars offers they couldn’t refuse?

    Did the mafia make NBA stars offers they couldn’t refuse?

    The FBI has arrested Chauncey Billups, NBA champion, Hall of Famer, and coach of the Portland Trail Blazers for his association in a rigged poker game operated by some of New York City’s most notorious crime family. “Why would Chauncey do it?” the world of sports is asking. He’s already worth tens of millions of dollars. That’s a question for Billups, his attorneys, his God, and, presumably, Blazers ownership to answer. But as someone who regularly plays a lot of low and micro-stakes poker, I have a pretty good idea.

    The games I play in are monitored by security cameras, with armed guards at the exits in case people get out of line. When I play in World Series of Poker or World Poker Tour events, there are a strict set of rules by which the vast majority of players abide. There’s some rule-bending, but it usually involves peeking at other people’s cards, using computer solvers to help make quick decisions at the table, or a variety of “angle shooting” tricks upon which the poker world tends to frown. In the rare instances when actual cheating does occur, with the occasional earbud installed to allow a player who know what’s happening on the internet livestream in which they’re participating, the poker world roots it out pretty quickly, and that player quickly finds themselves uninvited, in legal trouble and having to actually work for a living instead of playing cards.

    Chauncey Billups, on the other hand, fell prey to the sinister temptations of the “private game,” which is where all poker pros know the real money lies. The Bonanno, Genovese, Lucchese and Gambino crime families paid Billups, as well as two Miami Heat players, Terry Rozier and Damon Jones, to participate in New York games that involved rigged card shufflers and special glasses and contact lenses. Rozier also apparently faked an injury to throw games, or at least manipulate NBA stats, winning thousands of dollars in sports betting as a result.

    So the NBA is at least partially rigged, big surprise, but let’s keep our eyes on the cards. As the New York Post put it, the mob used the NBA stars to attract “fish” to the games. However, these weren’t mere fish. I play against fish on the average Thursday night as they pull crumpled $20 bills out of their wallets in a desperate attempt to beat a game they can only occasionally win. These were bonafide whales.

    It might seem odd for people to risk playing a private game, run by the mob, when the bright and mostly regulated lights of Atlantic City casino poker are just 80 miles away. But poker is a tempting devil. The idea that you can turn $100 into $2,000 isn’t just an abstraction. It’s a reality, and it happens in card rooms around the world every day. Blowing thousands of dollars at a time also happens regularly. So whales don’t even necessarily know that they’re whales. They’re just swimming in the ocean.

    And the temptation of playing with actual professional basketball players, who we’ve seen on TV and probably gambled on before, is pretty high. In the skeezy world that makes up my days and nights, guys get pretty excited if they play against someone who was once a AAA pitching coach for the Red Sox, or a backup point guard for Michigan State for a couple of seasons. Imagine playing against Mr. Big Shot himself from the Pistons. You’d never suspect that he’s actually a bald, black Le Schiffre.

    “The fraud is mind-boggling,” said FBI director Kash Patel at a press conference yesterday. Yet when I heard about it this morning, it didn’t quite boggle my mind. If you play poker, you just assume that kind of stuff is going on at private games, at all stakes, all the time. I, for one, would be very wary of playing in a game run by someone named “Flappy” who’s backed by the Gambino crime family.

    There’s no real mystery that the mob would run a shady card game. That’s nothing new. Or that rich marks would fall for their schemes. The real question revolves around Billups, who risked his shining reputation and his substantial fortune to help criminals cheat at cards. We can only assume that the mob made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

  • Boomer New York’s last bellow

    Boomer New York’s last bellow

    New Yorkers received visits from two ghosts of Christmas past and one ghost of Christmas present at its last 2025 mayoral debate on Wednesday night. Republican nominee Curtis Sliwa and champion of himself Andrew Cuomo lobbed Grumpy Old Man insults across the stage at each other while Zohran Mamdani stood center stage, fresh and gleaming, deflecting blows and acting with all the confidence of a football team that has a three-touchdown lead at the two-minute warning. The historical turn, potentially tragic, that will lead to the Democratic Socialists taking over America’s largest city, is reaching its conclusion, and there won’t be a final twist.

    Sliwa, who won’t become mayor in this or any other reality, offered passionate proposals to reform the housing-court system and to protect New York’s forgotten animals. If cats and dogs could vote, Sliwa would be a shoo-in. He played the populist card in his opening, saying “it’s us versus them, it’s us versus the insiders and the billionaires. It’s us versus Cuomo, it’s us versus Zohran. We’re not going to be silenced any more, we’re going to fight.”

    Cuomo spent most of the night deflecting attacks on his now-settled sexual harassment allegations, on his mishandling of the MTA in the summer of 2017, and on his disastrous policies in the early days of COVID that led to the deaths of thousands of elderly New Yorkers. He countered by saying that if (when) Mamdani wins, Donald Trump will be running the city. “He has said he will take over New York if Mamdani wins, and he will. He thinks Mamdani is a kid and he’ll knock him on his tuchus.”

    Mamdani said, “My opponents, who spend more time convincing each other to drop out, speak only of the past, because that’s all that they know. I am the only one who speaks to the future of the city.”

    He had a point. At times, the debate was like watching a community-theater production of The Sunshine Boys. One of the moderators even said, at one point, as Sliwa and Cuomo carped at each other over some ancient issue that even they barely understood, “we’re going to stay in this century, guys.”

    The three candidates debated housing issues, transit issues, policing issues, education issues and various finer points of New York policy that matter to me only marginally, because I live in a state with no income tax in a city recently named the most-affordable housing market in the United States. Not my movie. But antisemitism is my movie, so my ears perked up substantially when the candidates started debating the “Jewish question” like this was Berlin in 1931.

    “I will be the Mayor who doesn’t just protect Jewish New Yorkers, but also celebrates and cherishes them,” said Mamdani, who hundreds of rabbis denounced this week.

    “Not everything is a TikTok video,” said Cuomo. “You’re the savior of the Jewish people? You won’t denounce ‘Globalize the Intifada,” which means “kill Jews.” Sliwa, who apparently has Jewish children, said they view Mamdani “as an arsonist who fanned the flames of antisemitism. You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, a lot of apologizing to do.”

    Mamdani said he has never once “spoken out in favor of global jihad” and said that criticisms of him were, in fact, Islamophobic. “New York deserves a leader who takes antisemitism seriously, not one who weaponizes it to score political points.”

    Mamdani, who has an uncanny ability to wriggle out of tough spots, has run a slick campaign, but he’s also been fortunate in his choice of opponents. Sliwa is a quintessential New York tough-guy character, and might even be a good mayor if given a chance, but he’s also extremely goofy and there’s no way liberal New York will elect a Republican populist mayor in the age of Trump. And Cuomo is perhaps the most flawed candidate in a generation. This attempt to revive his political fortunes, given the disgraces he suffered earlier in the decade, has been a pathetic display of hubris. He touted himself as the candidate of “experience,” which led Mamdani to say,

    “We have all experienced your experience. We have experienced you taking a five million dollar book deal while sending seniors to their death in their nursing homes. The Issue IS your experience.”

    This debate was the last bellow of Boomer New York. The ghosts of Christmas past are vanquished and the Free Palestine Gen-Z TikTok kids are taking over. Winter is coming. To paraphrase Tiny Tim, God help us, everyone.

  • Why is Stephen Miller so divisive?

    Why is Stephen Miller so divisive?

    One of the most striking things about Trump 2: The Trumpening is how few characters are still on board from the Donald’s first term. Other than the President himself, it’s almost a completely different cast. Even the First Lady only rarely appears, as though she’s contractually obliged as a guest star for the occasional episode.

    But there’s one very important exception: White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller. And while Trump Derangement Syndrome afflicts millions of Americans, Miller Derangement Syndrome is, as they used to say during Covid, a comorbidity.

    MDS may have reached its peak earlier this month when Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez referred to Miller as a “clown.” “I’ve never seen that guy in real life,” she said in an intimate Instagram Live video for her followers, “but he looks like he’s like 4’10”. And he looks like he is angry about the fact that he’s 4’10”. And he looks like he is so mad that he is 4’10” that he has taken that anger out on any other population possible.”

    The only problem with the insult is that Miller is, in fact, 5’10”, the average height for an American man. Appearing with Laura Ingraham on Fox News that week, Miller called AOC a “walking nightmare” whose eyes and brain “don’t work.” AOC had to go back on to Instagram Live to say she didn’t believe in “body-shaming.” “I want to express my love for the short king community,” she said. “I am talking about how big or small someone is on the inside.”

    ‘We are the storm,’ Miller said during Kirk’s memorial – and that storm is playing out as we watch

    Whatever his size, it’s no stretch to say that, other than Trump himself, Miller is the most important figure steering American politics today. You can trace many of the administration’s key priorities – a closed border, hardline illegal immigration enforcement, an unbending support for Israel and the utter dismantling and humiliation of the Obama-era woke social order – to Miller and his ideas. He’s divisive, dogged and nearly omnipresent. Appearing in October on the final episode of the WTF podcast with Marc Maron, which late in its existence turned into a lodestar for the permanently traumatized liberal establishment, Barack Obama excoriated American institutions for “bending the knee” to Miller’s policies. “We’re not going to be bullied into saying that we can only hire people or promote people based on some criteria that’s been cooked up by Steve Miller,” he said. This, coming from a man who Miller referred to as “one of the worst presidents, if not the worst president, in US history,” felt extremely personal.

    But what exactly is this ideology that has Democrats shrieking in terror? Miller doesn’t like illegal immigration or DEI policies in the workplace or academia, but these days, that places him smack in the American mainstream. He’s certainly not a “white nationalist,” as many of his detractors claim: observant Jews tend to shy away from white nationalism as a rule.

    Miller grew up well-to-do in Santa Monica, California. His parents were conservatives, but they lived in one of the most liberal enclaves in America, which presented the illusion to him that he was a permanently oppressed underdog. As a high-school student, Miller called in to the conservative Larry Elder Show and brought Elder and conservative writer David Horowitz to speak at his school. Miller railed against fellow students and speakers who spoke Spanish and waged a successful campaign to get his school to institute a daily recital of the pledge of allegiance.

    At Duke University, Miller wrote a column for the conservative newspaper called “Miller Time” and introduced himself to his fellow students by saying “I’m from Santa Monica, California – and I like guns.” In many ways, he resembles the late Charlie Kirk, though he lacks Kirk’s easygoing charm and charisma. Both were white millennial men who came of age in Obama’s America, were shocked by the absence of patriotism, religion, and traditional values and brought about a change in that culture by sheer force of will.

    Miller’s speech at Charlie Kirk’s memorial was one of the most divisive (to liberals) and welcome (to conservatives) pieces of rhetoric in recent memory. “To our enemies,” he said, “you have nothing to give, you have nothing to offer, you have nothing to share but bitterness. We have beauty, we have light, we have goodness, we have determination, we have vision, we have strength. We built the world that we inhabit now.” It was the rhetoric of an angry man grieving the loss of his friend, and of someone who was determined to press forward.

    Speaking on Kirk’s podcast with guest host and Vice-President J.D. Vance the week after Kirk’s assassination, Miller said he was going to use all his power to dismantle nongovernmental organizations that he says created the climate that led to Kirk’s murder. “The organized doxxing campaigns, the organized riots, the organized street violence, the organized campaigns of dehumanization, vilification, posting people’s addresses, combining that with messaging that is designed to trigger [or] incite violence and the actual organized cells that carry out and facilitate the violence,” Miller explained. “It is a vast domestic terror.”

    He’s certainly not wrong about that. The fact is that every single one of Miller’s policy priorities have come to fruition since January. From media to academia to entertainment, the liberal establishment is on the defensive, with a diminishing toolset with which to battle Miller’s tactics. The ongoing street fights over ICE, the attempts to root out antifa, even the rhetoric about restoring religion to American life, are thoroughly Miller’s doing, and the administration isn’t backing down. “We are the storm,” Miller said during Kirk’s memorial – and that storm is playing out as we watch. This is Trump’s America, and the Short King’s world. Good luck to anyone who tries to get in his way.

    This article was originally published in The Spectator’s October 27, 2025 World edition.

  • America’s king is Burger King

    America’s king is Burger King

    The nationwide No Kings protest attracted, according to varying estimates, between 600,000 and 600 million Americans. Republicans either denigrated the protests as a kind of retirement-home activity for permanently terrified MSNBC boomers or as cover for bloodthirsty Antifa terrorists who want to destroy America and, in the words of House Speaker Mike Johnson, bring about “a rise of Marxism in the Democratic Party.” Or, you know, why not both? 

    Coverage of the protests reflected this schizo vibe. There were a lot of sad Boomer ladies in tie-dye T-shirts carrying Orange Man Bad posters, and some footage of grotesque, twisted far leftists mocking the murder of Charlie Kirk. In the case of my social-media feed, largely populated by people I knew in an era where I actually took political sides, marchers weren’t murderous Commie bastards, but mostly well-meaning liberals who simply can’t comprehend that the America they once knew has changed, and that the political ground and political loyalties, have shifted. 

    Breaking news to the marchers: Donald Trump is President, and he doesn’t care at all what you think of him. And breaking news to Republicans: Millions of people worldwide don’t like the President, and nothing he does will ever change their minds. Legions of people, including some who I know quite well, are completely convinced that they’re living in the rise of the Fourth Reich, just like millions of Republicans were convinced that Barack Obama was Josef Stalin II, from Hawaii. Then as now, when protests like this erupt non-spontaneously, legitimate critique becomes melodramatic, self-serving theater, while the Republic churns along. 

    But what, specifically, were people protesting on Saturday? Many think that ICE is overreaching its authority. They don’t like Trump’s threats against federal judges, or his attempts to use the FCC to silence his critics. He’s gauche, obnoxious, crude and corrupt. But he’s not a king. The people elected him, twice, and very nearly elected him a third time. As critics of the protests pointed out, people marched against kings, and then on Sunday, they woke up in a free country. Mission accomplished. 

    A few brave and self-promoting souls counter-protested on this weekend, but mostly people went about their usual weekend business of hanging out with family, watching college football, grilling, or, in my case, whiling away a half-dozen hours at the local card house. As the strange but amusing social-media pundit @mr_politics97 said in a video yesterday, filmed in a hoodie while walking by the side of a highway, “Apparently to the Liberals yesterday was a success… we trying to figure out how it was a success. Trump still the President. And you still gonna be getting deported if your ass not a U.S. citizen. So I’m truly trying to understand, what the fuck did y’all think you was doin’ yesterday? Ain’t nothing changed. Ain’t nothing changing.”

    Good question, Mr. Politics. A new week has arrived, it’s still a free country, and the only kings we have are Burger King, Smoothie King, Mattress King, Draft Kings, and, in some grocery-store regions, King Sooper’s. Meanwhile, how did the KING respond? 

    Trump said, yesterday, that the protesters were “WHACKED OUT” and George Soros paid for them. “By the way, I’m not a KING. I work my ASS OFF to make our country great. That’s all it is.” 

    Trump also posted an AI-generated video where he, flying a fighter jet, drops a payload of feces on Harry Sisson and a group of No Kings protesters below. “He’s using satire to make a point,” Mike Johnson said yesterday. “He is not calling for the MURDER of his political opponents. And that’s what these people ARE doing. In one of these photos… there is a picture of the president hanging in effigy by a noose. It’s unconscionable.” 

    Maybe, but it’s also a free country. People also used to hang Barack Obama in effigy, and now he’s a billionaire who lives on Martha’s Vineyard. God bless America, where our leaders cash in, and where kings are purely optional. 

  • John Bolton’s AOL chat with Iran

    John Bolton’s AOL chat with Iran

    “John Bolton Surrenders To Federal Authorities” is a headline I could have only dreamed of seeing 20 years ago, but this morning it came true. Following yesterday’s grand-jury indictment of Bolton, the former Trump National Security Advisor and W. Bush Iraq War architect/manipulator gave himself up and pled not guilty in federal court on charges of mishandling classified information. But if Bolton isn’t guilty, I’m a high-stakes poker professional.

    The charges claimed that Bolton was “unlawfully hoarding” documents, that he sent classified information over grandpa communication medium AOL instant Messenger in 2018 and that he shared more than 1,000 pages of notes, while working on a memoir, with his wife and daughter, neither of whom had security clearances. “From on or about April 9, 2018, through on or about September 15, 2019, on a regular basis, Bolton sent diary-like entries to [his wife and daughter] that contained information classified up to the Top Secret/SCI level,” says the indictment.

    Now, let’s be clear, even though we can dream, this isn’t Julius and Ethel Rosenberg or Aldrich Ames-like stuff. Bolton was just trying to enjoy a final cashing-in on a lifelong career of neoconservative warmongering. But Iranian hackers, representatives of a government that wouldn’t mind targeting Trump, not to mention Bolton, also have access to AOL. According to the indictment, they intercepted the messages. Looks like the man with the walrus mustache got a little careless with his “secret travel memos.”

    Bolton said, in a statement, “These charges are not just about [Trump’s] focus on me or my diaries, but his intensive effort to intimidate his opponents, to ensure that he alone determines what is said about his conduct,” Bolton said. “Dissent and disagreement are foundational to America’s constitutional system, and vitally important to our freedom. I look forward to the fight to defend my lawful conduct and to expose his abuse of power.”

    It’s true that Bolton has had some unkind things to say about Trump since leaving his political orbit, and it’s also true that Trump is using any means necessary to target his political enemies, real or perceived. But unlike James Comey and Letitia James, Trump’s other two most powerful recent lawfare targets, Bolton’s indictment actually has a chance to stick. He almost certainly won’t serve a full 10-year sentence, but the grand jury indictment is quite specific and pointed. The law tends to be biased against a guy who’s “hoarding strategic government communications” for his memoir.

    Let’s keep in mind that Bolton was a key architect of one of the biggest government deceptions of our time, or any time, the absolute insistence of the George W. Bush administration that Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction, which led to one of the most pointless wars in American history. Talking to NPR in 2023, a sure sign that the political winds had shifted, Bolton said, “it depends on how you define a lie, because if you believe that’s a lie, then a lot of what I hear on NPR on any given day is a lie. To me, a lie is a statement that’s untrue, that’s uttered deliberately knowing it’s false. The administration didn’t lie.”

    Sure, John. In my mind, Bolton’s indictment is about yellowcake uranium, not about saying mean things about Donald Trump in a memoir called The Room Where It Happened. But you can only go to war with the army you have. John Bolton as the ultimate defender of free speech, dissent and disagreement feels like a bit much to me. Next thing you know, Democrats will be trying to rehabilitate the reputation of the Cheney family. Truth be told, it’s kind of hard to believe.

  • Zohran Mamdani pledges free everything on Fox News

    Zohran Mamdani pledges free everything on Fox News

    Ahead of tomorrow night’s debate with Andrew Cuomo and Curtis Sliwa, Democratic socialist and future mayor of New York City Zohran Mamdani appeared on Fox News this afternoon for the first time.  

    Anyone expecting a clash of cultures, or 15 minutes of pure ideological arguing, would have been disappointed. Fox anchor Martha MacCallum asked tough, pointed questions, but it was a respectful exchange between two New Yorkers who clearly don’t summer in the same ZIP code.  

    That doesn’t mean the interview lacked news value. The most shocking part came before the commercial break, when Mamdani said it was “too early” to give President Trump credit for the Middle East peace deal. When MacCallum asked him to denounce Hamas, he instead invoked the “crimes” of the Israeli military, who he said had killed five Palestinians this week. Hamas has killed more Palestinians that that, MacCallum said, but Mamdani deflected. 

    “I have no issue in critiquing Hamas and the Israeli government because my focus is on universal human rights,” he said. He also refused to retract his call to arrest Benjamin Netanyahu if Netanyahu visited New York. Mamdani said he would respect the judgment of the International Criminal Court, which has issued a warrant for Netanyahu’s arrest. Again, when MacCallum pressed him, Mamdani wouldn’t say a crossed word about Hamas. “I don’t really have opinions about the future of Hamas and Israel other than questions about universal safety,” Mamdani said, having clearly sewn up whatever percentage of the Jewish vote he needs to win.  

    Part two of the exchange, about Mamdani’s plans for the city, was actually the friendlier of the two segments. Mamdani said New York should be “the capital of where working people can afford to live,” and MacCallum agreed with him that the city was too expensive. “You’ve done a lot to bring people’s attention to affordability,” she said. “I appreciate that,” Mamdani said.  

    She didn’t seem too keen on his proposals to raise taxes on the wealthiest New Yorkers by 2 percent, or on his proposals to raise corporate taxes, which is out of his power anyway because Albany sets New York tax policy. “What Andrew Cuomo said is that if he had $959 million he’d give it to Elon Musk for tax credits,” Mamdani said. “I’m talking about raising taxes on the wealthiest. When I’ve spoken to Trump voters, they told me it was cost of living that drove them to vote for Donald Trump. What we’re seeing time and time again is a focus on billionaires instead.”  

    That’s Democratic socialism, folks – and Mamdani said he’ll use that increased tax revenue to pay for his controversial program to make city buses free, as well as everything else. “I think everyone would love to have free healthcare and free buses and all these things,” MacCallum said, sounding skeptical.  

    Unappealing to Republicans, and almost everyone else, is Mamdani’s plan to place mentally ill New Yorkers into “peer-led rehabilitation programs,” which is where he said he would have placed the man who murdered a 64-year-old on a subway platform last year. He wants to “end the revolving door” of a “broken system.” When MacCallum asked Mamdani to apologize to police officers, who he’s called racist, “wicked and corrupt,” he looked at the camera and said, “I’ll apologize to police officers right now. I’m looking to work with these officers. They put their lives on the line every single day.” And then he invoked the Central Park Five, Eric Garner and George Floyd, which I’m sure put backers of the blue at ease.  

    Zohran Mamdani didn’t get to his current position by tacking to the center, and his Fox News appearance was pretty consistent with what he’s put out with the rest of the campaign: a mix of left-wing populist economics, which the Democratic party sorely needs, and foreign-policy and criminal-justice positions that wouldn’t be out of place on BlueSky. But he didn’t come across as crazy, weird or unprepared. He’s got his plans – and he’s sticking to them. New York already has its most hilarious mayor of all time in Eric Adams. The Mamdani years might end up being a tragedy, but the comedy is about to end. 

  • Is Marjorie Taylor Greene a Democrat? 

    Is Marjorie Taylor Greene a Democrat? 

    Georgia Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has spent the last week gnawing on the hand that feeds her, showing that no one in American politics is worse at reading the tea leaves.  

    Taylor Greene entered Congress in 2021 wearing a face mask that read “Trump Won.” She was so fervently a supporter of January 6 pardons that Georgians invoked an “insurrectionist disqualification clause” to try to remove her from Congress. But now that MAGA is riding high on a wave of world peace and prosperity, Taylor Greene has changed her tune and, though she says she’s still conservative, is sounding more like an unholy fusion of Liz Cheney and Nancy Pelosi.  

    Over the weekend, MTG appeared on comedian Tim Dillon’s podcast, claiming that she is still “MAGA through and through.” There’s only one drawback: the Epstein Files. A passionate former Pizzagater, MTG said to Dillon: 

    Everyone that voted for Trump-Vance, everyone was like, release the Epstein Files! This is not even an argument. It’s not even debatable. It’s not being a traitor to the president to sign my name on a Thomas Massie discharge petition to release the Epstein Files. No, no, no. I am staying true to what we’ve always said. There needs to be transparency.

    Fair enough. That’s nothing you wouldn’t hear from, say Rand Paul about Trump’s treatment of the Epstein Files, where every day is another wonderful secret. But then there’s Taylor Greene’s invocation of the Gaza “genocide,” the first congressional Republican to say such a thing, sounding like your supposedly tolerant progressive Facebook friend and not helping the rumors that she’s actually an anti-Semite. On Dillon’s show, she ripped into her fellow Republicans for not having a plan to “fix” Obamacare and calling for them to extend ACA subsidies. Then there was this, about illegal immigration:  

    As a conservative, and as a business owner in the construction industry, and as a realist, I can say, we need to do something about labor and that needs to be a smarter plan than just rounding up every single person and deporting them just like that. And I’m going to get pushback on that. But I’m just living in reality.

    What reality, though, exactly? MTG sounds exactly like liberals saying “who will pick our vegetables?” These aren’t questions you’d expect to be hearing from someone touted as a MAGA standard-bearer going forward. In general, you get the sense that Taylor Greene has lost interest in the Republican project.  

    “My district knows I ran for Congress trashing Republicans,” Taylor Greene said to the Washington Post yesterday. “They voted for me because they agreed with that. My district’s not surprised.” 

    The Post’s story also featured MTG going off on House Speaker Mike Johnson, whose ascendency she fervently opposed, saying that he’s a sexist who refuses to promote women to positions of authority. “Whereas President Trump has a very strong, dominant style – he’s not weak at all – a lot of the men here in the House are weak,” she said. “There’s a lot of weak Republican men and they’re more afraid of strong Republican women. So they always try to marginalize the strong Republican women that actually want to do something and actually want to achieve…They’re always intimidated by stronger Republican women because we mean it and we will do it and we will make them look bad.” 

    Not all Republican women. The attorney general, the Secretary of Homeland Security, the White House Chief of Staff, and Congresswomen Nancy Mace, Elise Stefanik, and Anna Paulina Luna, among others, would probably like to have a word with MTG, who’s “our next President,” Tim Dillon said on his podcast on Saturday. “Sorry, J.D. Vance.”  

    Unless MTG runs as a Democrat, it seems unlikely that the Vice President is quaking in his Crocs. However, it also seems unlikely that the Democrats will embrace someone who publicly called for the execution of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Who will find a political home for Marjorie Taylor Greene, now the tardiest of libs?  

  • By order of the non-doctor

    By order of the non-doctor

    Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. did not say, in yesterday’s cabinet meeting, that circumcision causes autism. But the fact that we’d even consider that a real statement shows just how far down the rabbit hole into the MAHA Wonderland of his mind RFK has dragged us. In fact, RFK said that after doctors circumcise boys, they give them too much Tylenol, and that causes autism. President “Don’t Take Tylenol” responded, “there’s a tremendous amount of proof or evidence. I would say as a non-doctor, but I’ve studied this a long time.” 

    A non-doctor is right, and I say this as someone who’s not a fan of male circumcision, a practice based on dated religious superstition. If we abhor female circumcision as a barbaric practice (and we should), then why is male circumcision any different? This is a personal issue for me. My wife didn’t want to circumcise our son more than 20 years ago, but my Jewish parents, now deceased, threatened to disown him, and me, if we didn’t do it. There was no bris. We didn’t enjoy wine and bagels afterwards. A urologist strapped our baby to a board and caused him untold pain, for no reason. I’ll never be able to unhear those screams.  

    Thank you for allowing me to process that trauma. But the point here is that the doctor probably gave our son Tylenol, and our son doesn’t have autism. I’m also circumcised, as are most men I know, or at least I assume they are. We don’t talk about such things. No one ever interviewed me for the studies that RFK cited at the cabinet meeting. “Circumcision leads to autism” is just embarrassing crankery that plays on people’s emotions.  

    Then, on the same day we saw “RFK claims circumcision causes autism” headlines, the Wall Street Journal decided to run a light feature story on RFK’s strange habit of working out wearing jeans. They show photos of him bench-pressing in denim and climbing Phoenix’s Camelback Mountain in denim. I grew up in Phoenix and did that Camelback hike many times. It’s no fun in workout shorts; hiking in jeans is suicide.  

    We live in interesting health times, where the Health Secretary issues a joint “fitness challenge” with the Secretary of War, does a gym circuit wearing Levis, and claims that vaccines and Tylenol cause autism. At least there’s no more Red Dye #12 in our beef tallow Steak and Shake fries. And I have to wonder if this is actually making us healthier, or if we’re just fetishizing the lifestyle eccentricities of a wealthy bulked-up falconer from America’s most famous political family.  

    This movement is starting to feel like a mirror image of the “more doctors smoke Camels” ads that the tobacco industry used to produce. In 1930, Lucky Strike said that “20,679 Physicians say ‘LUCKIES are less irritating” because of a “toasting” process. Millions of people died because of those campaigns. 

    It’s a long way down the path from that to MAHA claiming that sugar is poison (true) and that brief morning exposure to sunlight helps regulate our circadian rhythms (also true). So let’s bring it all together and list my true prescription for a healthy life: eat moderately, exercise often but not excessively, don’t smoke, don’t get circumcised, DON’T TAKE TYLENOL, and, for god’s sake, don’t climb a mountain in jeans.  

  • Give the Nobel to Jared

    Give the Nobel to Jared

    On a season eight episode of The Simpsons, newscaster Kent Brockman interviews a man who’s woken up from a 23-year-long coma, and lets him know that Sonny Bono is now a Congressman and Cher has won an Oscar. The man dies soon after. If someone were to wake up from a coma today to find out that Donald Trump, who 23 years ago was hosting The Apprentice, is now the leading candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize, it would have a similar result. 

    But who else deserves the award? If you can give Peace Prizes to Al Gore and Barack Obama for basically being Cool Liberal Guys Who Aren’t Dick Cheney, you can give one to Donald Trump. Look at who’s nominated him: Benjamin Netanyahu, the government of Pakistan, The Israeli Hostages Family Forum. It’s not exactly Rudy Giuliani, Kayleigh McEnany and an anonymous account from Barron’s burner phone. The “President of peace” does seem a little too eager to get his hands on the medal. “I should have gotten it four or five times,” he said in June. 

    But, again, who else should get it at this moment in history? Jimmy Carter deserved one in 1978 for brokering the Camp David Accords. What Trump’s done is equally significant. The list of other deserving candidates is pretty small: They could always give it to Pope Leo, who seems like a nice Pope, or to Chef José Andres, who’s fed millions of refugees in need. If the Nobel Committee hands it to Greta Thunberg, it might actually cause World War III.

    The only logical answer is Trump’s son-in-law, and the man who’s quietly done all the actual work on negotiating the Israel-Hamas peace accords: Jared Kushner. We’ve heard Kushner’s name in the Peace Prize conversation before. In 2022, Congressman Lee Zeldin nominated him for his role in brokering the Abraham Accords between Israel and the UAE, and the year before, Alan Dershowitz nominated him for the same reason. Then-CNN political writer Chris Cilizza, who’s never been nominated for anything other than “Weenus of the Year,” said that these nominations were “less of a big deal than you think.” But they were actually a pretty big deal. 

    In 2022, Jared Kushner was not anywhere near the seat of power. The Washingtonian wrote an article about him called “Javanka In Exile,” as he and Ivanka Trump tried to navigate their way in what a prematurely triumphant media considered to be a post-Trump Washington. And what was Jared Kushner doing in “exile”? Getting Nobel Peace Prize nominations while quietly going about his billionaire business trying to achieve an impossible 3,000-year-old dream of bringing peace to the Middle East. 

    Hamas’s horrifying October 7, 2023 terrorist attack on Israel and Israel’s response in Gaza were the opposite of peace in the Middle East. If anything, it created a situation where regional war could explode into world conflict, with calls to “globalize the intifada.” The war between Islamic militants and defenders of Israel spilled off computer screens and into the streets of the world, sometimes violently. Once the Trump Restoration occurred, Trump sent Kushner back into the fray. In his calm, patient, non-spotlight-seeking way, Kushner has once again sought to bring peace where, as long as any of us have lived, there’s been war. 

    Of course Trump is taking credit. That’s what he does. “All I can do is put out wars,” he said at the United Nations recently. “I don’t seek attention. I just want to save lives.” Trump always seeks attention, and it might be hard to sell him to the Nobel Peace committee on a week where he threatens to arrest the Mayor of Chicago, orders the National Guard to Portland and brags about blowing Venezuelan drug boats out of the water. Even if he goes to Egypt this weekend and parts the Red Sea, it still might not be enough. But peace in our time, despite all that, is still within reach. 

    The late Tom Lehrer once said “political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize.” And it’s true, they gave the prize for ending the Vietnam War to the architect of the firebombing of Cambodia. Political satire is now either obsolete, or maybe we all just live in it daily. Donald Trump didn’t start the fire in the Middle East, but he’s certainly doing all he can to end the conflict, or at least Jared Kushner is. Give Jared the Nobel Prize. Javanka is no longer in exile. 

  • Trump cuddles Carney 

    Trump cuddles Carney 

    “Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments,” William Shakespeare wrote in Sonnet 116, and he appears to have been prophetically talking about the very special relationship between President Trump and Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney. 

    The first meeting between the two leaders a few months ago was friendly. But today’s press conference, before a tariff negotiation lunch, was essentially a cuddlefest. Carney called Trump a “transformative president.” Trump joked about the upcoming “US/Canada merger,” and said the two countries had “natural conflict and natural love,” like in any marriage. 

    The problem, Trump said, “is that they want a car company, and we want a car company. It’s a natural business conflict… nothing wrong with it. When it comes to trade, the United States gave everything to Canada. Other Presidents didn’t see that. They were good politicians, but they weren’t business oriented. We’ve come a long way.”

    Carney nodded along while Trump said open borders made America a “raging hellhole,” which affected Canada as well. Trump said that his policy of blowing Venezuelan drug boats out of the water had made Canada safer, and Carney said “yep yep.” The “Golden Dome” missile protection system also brought along a “yep,” and as for tariffs, Carney said, “there are areas where we compete, and it’s in those areas where we have to come to agreement that works. But there are more areas where we’re stronger together, and that’s what we’re focused on, and we’re going to get the right deal.”

    “It’s true,” Trump said. 

    The press conference included the usual Trumpian side rants. The Democrats had shut down the government. Chicago has a lot of murders and incompetent leaders. If the Democrats had won the Presidency, there’d be men playing women’s sports. They’d be taking away your children and changing their sex, and there’d be windmills everywhere. “I’m not sure we’d even have a country,” Trump said. 

    But back to the matter at hand, Trump said, “I want to make the best deal with Canada and also whatever the best deal is for Canada. Other leaders have told me this, but Mark said he would too. A year ago we were a dead country, and now we are the hottest country anywhere in the world. There’s never been a country in the world that has money coming into it like this one. Maybe Canada. I do like Canada… The people of Canada, they will love us again. Most of them still do. Maybe 25 percent. I assume a lot of ‘em. I think they love us.”

    Regardless of whether or not that’s true, Trump does appear to have natural love for Prime Minister Carney. “I think he’s a great Prime Minister,” Trump said. “I mean, he could represent me any time. He is very strong, he is a very good leader. He’s a nice man, but he can be nasty. Maybe as nasty as anybody. I can tell you this because I deal with a lot of leaders all over the world. He is a world-class leader. He is a man that knows what he wants. I’m not surprised he won the election. He’s a good man, he does a great job, and he’s a tough negotiator.”

    So what’s the holdup? A Canadian reporter asked. If he’s such a great man, then why don’t you reach a deal? 

    “Because,” Trump said, sticking the landing, “I want to be a great man too.”