Tag: American Eagle

  • We begged Hollywood for Sydney Sweeney

    We begged Hollywood for Sydney Sweeney

    Sydney Sweeney is back in the news again, because the news keeps making the news about Sydney Sweeney. This week, it’s an interview with Sweeney by GQ, titled “Sydney Sweeney on Life at the Center of the Conversation.” It’s sparked a “wokelash” among people who hate Sydney Sweeney, meaning no one you actually want to know.

    Even though GQ is short for Gentlemen’s Quarterly, and the audience is ostensibly gentlemen who like to look at Sydney Sweeney, Katherine Stoeffel, GQ’s features director, conducted the interview. Women have always and will continue to work for GQ, but Stoeffel seems to not understand what gentlemen want and like. Inside American women right now, there are two wolves. Sweeney is one of them. Stoeffel is the other.

    The woke left appears determined to paint Sweeney, a hustlingly entrepreneurial actress, as a gateway to white supremacist America. In the interview, Sweeney says that the response to her American Eagle “great jeans” ad was “surreal,” which I’m sure it was, down to the fact that President Trump, king of the culture war, decided to comment on it. That’s not enough for Stoeffel, who wants a scalp.

    “I’m literally in jeans and a T-shirt like every day of my life,” says Sweeney.

    Same.

    “Jeans are uncontroversial, jeans are awesome,” Stoeffel says, with her best vocal fry, while Sweeney laughs.

    “I like your jeans,” Sweeney says.

    “You look great in your jeans,” says Stoeffel, suddenly raising hope that things might get a little steamy there in the garden. But then comes the boom.

    “I think I know how you’re going to answer this, but I’m going to ask anyway. I mean, the President tweeted about the jeans ad.”

    Sweeney is still giggling.

    “Or Truth Socialed about the jeans ad. And that just seems to me like a very crazy moment for anyone, and I wondered what that was like.”

    “It was surreal,” Sweeney says, the laughter having left her eyes.

    “It was surreal. And it would be totally human. I would feel thankful that somebody had my back in public. And conveniently, some very powerful people had my back in public.”

    The tone ventures into: are you now, Sydney Sweeney, and have you ever been, a member of the Republican party?

    “Ech,” Sweeney says.

    “I wondered if you felt that way.”

    “Mmm,” Sweeney goes, followed by a few seconds pause. “I don’t think that. It’s not like I didn’t have that feeling, but I wasn’t thinking of it like that. Of any of it. I kind of just put my phone away. I was filming every day. I’m filming Euphoria. So I’m working like 16-hour days. And I don’t really bring my phone on set. I work and then I go home and I go to sleep. So I didn’t really see a lot of it.”

    Stoeffel continues to press.

    “You’ve made a really good case for keeping your thoughts and your life separate from that work. But the risk is that, you know, there’s a chance that somebody will get some idea about what you think about certain issues.”

    At this point, you can see in Sweeney’s eyes that she truly hates this person to whom she’s committed an hour of her life.

    “Hmm,” she says, while ordering a drone strike in her mind.

    “Do you worry about that?” Stoeffel asks.

    “No,” Sweeney says.

    And yet Stoeffel doesn’t stop, and, in fact, arrives at her gotcha moment. “The criticism of the content was that, basically in this political climate, like white people shouldn’t joke about genetic superiority. Like that was kind of the criticism, broadly speaking. And since you were talking about this, I just wanted to give you an opportunity to talk about that specifically.”

    “I think that when I have an issue that I want to speak about,” Sweeney said, “people will hear.”

    Sydney Sweeney is what people have been begging for from Hollywood stars for decades: someone who looks good, works hard, shows up on time, stays sober, keeps their opinions basically to themselves and makes their studios gobs of money. Katherine Stoeffel is a striver from a dying media class. One of them is today’s internet main character. The other will be a main character in most of our media lives for the next 20 years. Sweeney’s next movie is about a female boxer. Anyone who’s betting on GQ over her in today’s tense exchange has chosen the wrong fighter. Today, Sydney Sweeney knocked legacy media flat.

  • Why the world is obsessed with white women

    Why the world is obsessed with white women

    Until a couple of weeks ago, the clothing company American Eagle was mainly known as a kind of low-rent Levi’s. Founded in 1977, headquartered in Pennsylvania, the firm – specializing in denim, casual wear and kids’ clothes – has quietly expanded into Europe, and beyond, without ever generating much excitement. Let alone a worldwide culture war.

    All that changed in July, when the company launched a new ad campaign featuring the petite, sassy, curvaceously ubiquitous actress Sydney Sweeney – very much This Year’s Blonde – draping her desirable shape in the company’s clothes. Several ads have been made; they all feature variations on the line “Sydney Sweeney has great jeans.” A clear pun on genes.

    The result, whether intended or not, has been online uproar. Entire data centers have been devoted to churning out TikTok reels and YouTube mewls where women – and it is nearly all women – complain about the ad blitz, denouncing its connotations of white supremacy, of eugenics, of Nazi racist hierarchy – and of enforcing 19th-century imperialist ideals of European beauty. All the more since Sweeney has been identified as a registered Republican in Florida. Some of the women complaining are white liberals, many are Asian or black (often in tears of fury or distress).

    Sydney Sweeney, of course, is notably young, blonde, blue eyed – and white.

    And there, I fancy, is the rub. What we are witnessing is not peculiarly or entirely a modern kulturkampf against renewed colonialist discourse. What we are witnessing is, as well, the age-old and rather awkward fact that pale/white women are perceived by almost all humanity as more desirable, and have been for all of recorded history. And this evokes – understandably – resentment, envy, anger, even rage, and now tearful TikToks, in others.

    Don’t believe me? Think I’m trolling? Let me run you, like a blonde girl dancing through harvest corn in a retro cereal ad, by the plentiful evidence.

    As long ago as 3000 BC Egyptian art shows high class women (or deities) as being desirably paler than males. This can be found on tiny faience figurines and enormous funereal paintings, and it persists for 30 centuries. Egyptian love poems also praise the pale skin of mortal sweethearts – the earliest written evidence for the preference. Again, this poetic trope lasted for millennia.

    Moving on to Greece and Rome, we find the same pattern. Upperclass Greek women were so keen to enhance their whiteness they used toxic white lead as face paint (a phenomenon that recurs throughout history – think of England’s white virgin Queen, Gloriana).

    The concept – white women best – was amplified in Imperial Rome. The poet Ovid explicitly mentions it in his work Medicamina Faciei Femineae. Like the Greeks (and so many others) high-status Roman women used dangerous cosmetics – cerussa – to preserve the wanted pallor. Cleopatra bathed in asses’ milk to accentuate the milkiness of her skin.

    Nor is this exclusively a European and Middle Eastern phenomenon. In Ancient Han and Tang China, the preference for white-skinned women was deeply ingrained. The legendary beauty Wang Zhaojun was famed for her “pale skin.” Chinese women even drank “pearl powder” to achieve a pearly whiteness.

    Further east, in Heian Japan, the yearning for whiteness was easily as marked, with porcelain pale skin seen as the acme of loveliness (think of white-painted geishas, even today). An enduring Japanese proverb says “white skin covers the seven flaws” implying that white skin is such an erotic prize, it can compensate for other physical or social disadvantages.

    One of the most notable examples of this sociocultural phenomenon can be found – perhaps ironically – in Islam. Many know that dead jihadi warriors are promised “72 virgins in paradise,” but fewer realize that the Quran and various hadiths promise, overtly, that these wonderful virgins will be white: fragrant “houris” with skin so translucent you can “see the marrow in the bones.”

    This urgent preference for white-skinned women runs throughout Islamic history. Early Islamic warriors were fired up for battle against Byzantium with the promise of “the white girls” they would find as booty within Byzantine cities. Over following centuries Muslim emirates, kingdoms and empires made plain their wants via the slave trade, where white women – especially blondes – fetched far higher prices in the slave markets of Constantinople.

    Some historians have argued that the southwards Viking slave trade through Russia existed primarily to sate this imperious Muslim hunger for white-skinned blue-eyed blondes, fetched from the British Isles, northern Europe and Slavic countries. Circassian girls from the Caucasus mountains – famed for their soulful whiteness – were exported throughout the Islamic world, and this trade continued into the early 20th century.

    The case is made, but not explained. Why has much of the world desired paler, whiter women? The obvious answer is that, through most of history, darker skin has denoted outdoor toil, farm work, poverty. The ability to avoid this and stay indoors, or under a parasol, soon became associated with high status and elite women, and thus a sun-less pallor became a near-universal preference.

    There are also some highly contentious evolutionary explanations. Women of all ancestries tend to be paler than men, paleness therefore equals femininity, ergo “the more paleness the better.” There is also some evidence that female skin darkens as women age, so whiteness or paleness perhaps equates to youth, fertility, nubility. And desirability.

    None of this denies that European colonizers – in the 19th century – imposed grotesque, racist European ideals of beauty across the world. Nor does this deny the real harm that rigid beauty standards can inflict. When young women of color grow up seeing only pale-skinned models celebrated in media, when skin-lightening creams cause genuine physical damage across Africa and Asia – these things are immoral or unjust. But the truth is, “white woman equals beautiful woman” is a concept so deeply rooted in human culture, right back to the Sumerians, it is probably ineradicable.

    Will any of this matter to Sydney Sweeney and American Eagle? Maybe they will be intrigued that their ad campaign is perpetuating a stereotype that dates back to an early Egyptian poet near Luxor, who praised his lover’s “brilliantly white, shining skin.” They will probably be more excited by the fact that, as I write, American Eagle’s stock price has risen 10 percent.

  • Trump eulogizes Woke on Truth Social

    ​​President Trump announced a major vibe shift on Truth Social today, declaring that he, like any other sane red-white-and-blue blooded American, finds Sydney Sweeney sexy, especially because she toes the party line. “Sydney Sweeney, a registered Republican, has the “HOTTEST” ad out there,” he posted. “It’s for American Eagle, and the jeans are “flying off the shelves.” Go get ‘em, Sydney!” Why Trump put “flying off the shelves” is a question only for advanced semioticians, but the White House’s stance is clear on this cultural hot point: Sydney Sweeney good, left-wing “Nazi” denunciations of Sydney Sweeney bad. 

    But Trump wasn’t done. He turned his Sydney Sweeney boosterism into a full-blown cultural critique. His ever-active mind veered to the “other side of the ledger,” bringing up a disastrous multicultural, gender-fluid ad that Jaguar put out last year. “Jaguar did a stupid, and seriously WOKE advertisement, THAT IS A TOTAL DISASTER! The CEO just resigned in disgrace, and the company is in absolute turmoil. Who wants to buy a Jaguar after looking at that disgraceful ad.” Donald, you forgot a question mark? Also, Cockburn would argue that Jaguar already had tremendous problems as a brand before the ad, with severe quality problems and a rapidly-declining market share, and that the ad was just the capstone to a car company in death spiral. But whatever, let the President cook. 

    ​He wasn’t done yet, spending precious characters rehashing the Bud Light/Dylan Mulvaney fiasco, in which Bud “went Woke and essentially destroyed, in a short campaign, the Company.” The most popular beer in America then became Modelo Especial, which couldn’t possibly please the Donald, and Bud has recovered somewhat from that marketing error. But Trump had an even more sacred cow to gore: America’s sweetheart, Taylor Swift:

    “Ever since I alerted the world as to what she was by saying on TRUTH that I can’t stand her (HATE!). She was booed out of the Super Bowl and became, NO LONGER HOT,” Trump said. While it’s true that T-Swift may have over-flooded the zone with her recent tour, and it’s also true that she’s no fan of the President’s, there are countless millions of people who would disagree with her declining hotness. Sydney Sweeney has a good screen presence and amazing jeans, but Swift’s Q-rating and body of work still rank her higher on the cultural totem pole. 

    However, that’s not what The Donald is announcing with this post. He’s wrong that Taylor Swift is in decline, but he’s right in proclaiming that the woke era is over. It’s once again safe for boys to put whackoff posters of hot models on their walls and it’s time for bald black lesbian actresses with nose piercings and Nosferatu nails to stop playing Jesus Christ at the Hollywood Bowl. The theater kids lose, normal America wins. 

    “The tide has seriously turned,” the President tweeted. “Being WOKE is for losers, being Republican is what you want to be.” We’d like to thank the President for his attention to this matter. America is back, baby! At last, a true hot girl summer has arrived.