Americans have impeached impeachment

Podcaster Andrew Espitallier, who hosts a channel called The Right Latino with his friend Alex, took to the streets of Manhattan on Saturday to ask average New Yorkers their impressions and opinions on President Trump’s impeachment trial. He traipsed 30 blocks, from Times Square to Union Square, for over three hours, put a microphone in the face of hundreds of people, and couldn’t find a single one who was even remotely interested.

‘Here I am, in the middle of ultra-liberal New York City, and literally no one cares. I was shocked’, he told me.

When my pal Buck Sexton asked if I would come on his radio show to discuss impeachment, I apologized and told him he might want to ask someone else. ‘I haven’t watched one second of it and I don’t plan to now,’ I said. ‘That’s even better. You’re representative of an average American then. Let’s discuss that’, he said.

Same thing happened with RT International, who asked me to discuss the latest impeachment news. ‘I’m sorry. I’m not following a word of it’, I said. Even better, I was told. And same with this magazine, when asked if I could do an impeachment story for this week. ‘I took a vow to not pay it any attention,’ I told Dear Leader Freddy Gray.

‘Then that’s your column’, he said.

They’re all correct. Although I understand history and politics geeks being interested in the process of impeachment, I feel bad for my right-wing journalist friends who for two weeks now have had to feign outrage over the proceedings. This is only the third time in history a president has been impeached and the first time that absolutely no one cares. That’s the only interesting thing about it, how disinterested people are. Whereas most journalists run like cats with laser pointers wherever the Democratic party tells them to go, a good journalist ought to assess what is worthy of the public’s attention and everything about the Democrats’ behavior since day one of this presidency points to frivolity and insincerity. It is a historic moment any way you look at it, yet no one can be bothered to give a damn. What a wonderful ‘screw you’ to the establishment. If the media won’t starve the misbehaving, temper-tantrum throwing brats of the Democratic party of attention, then thank goodness the average American is.

Last week, each of the three networks barely managed to crack one million views for the Democrats’ opening remarks, and even that number sounds high. By comparison, daytime soap operas banked 11 million views the same week. While Slurrer of the House Nancy Pelosi was yammering on about Russia conspiracy theories (wait, I thought this was about Ukraine?) and Adam Schiff was doing whatever, many more Americans were more interested in what was happening on Days of Our Lives, where Sarah and Adrienne were in a car accident. Adrienne later died from the injuries, and after Sarah’s baby died, Xander passed off Kristen’s daughter as Sarah’s. Fans of General Hospital were irked that impeachment proceedings pre-empted the show, forcing antsy soap fan blogs to host discussions about whether or not Nina will take back Valentin.

The media is also very ticked off that Americans don’t care. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Chris Hayes appeared on the verge of tears that no one is paying attention. They can’t seem to wrap their minds around why all us hillbillies and rubes just don’t care. Senators were reported to be falling asleep during the proceedings last week and popping out to give media interviews.

‘These peoples’ jobs is to do this. This is literally their job. If you find it too annoying or frustrating or uncomfortable to sit for eight hours and listen, you can resign tomorrow and go get another job’, Hayes whined about the distracted senators. Perhaps that’s better left up to their constituents and not Chris Hayes. It’s also, literally, my job to follow the news and I decided, nah, not this time. Don’t care! Even Dianne Feinstein can’t get canceled for reportedly suggesting this was all a bad idea and they should just get it over with and acquit the president.

Any way you slice it, the Democrats don’t come out looking good once the history books are written, and that’s putting it mildly. The people have spoken, they’ve impeached impeachment. As the crowning achievement of the Democrats’ last four years, that ought to greatly concern them. If there’s anything that points to a Trump mega-landslide in 2020, it is how Americans have turned their back on impeachment. What’s yet to be seen is whether this spectacle was the beginning of new, dark era in American politics, where attempted coups by the opposition party become the norm, or just more free comedy from our bumbling friends on the left.